Today was a good day to avoid me…..

RelaxDamit! You had a bad day get over it…

Today I was in a down right nasty mood and that’s ok. I’m done micromanaging every single emotion. I get it that I’m bipolar. I get it that I have issues. But ya know what? I’m also entitled to a bad day.

Once again all First world problems, but small computer glitches, conversations with idiots (not sure of a more polite way to describe some of the folks I had to interact with today) , lack of sleep, cable system acting up all piled on this afternoon. It got to the point where I just got up and left some projects where they lay. No good was going to come out of me taking a hammer to my computer.

Ever since being diagnosed I have felt this enormous weight of maintaining self-control. Days like today the little things pile up and self-control is much more difficult. Today, instead of beating myself up I embraced my inner curmudgeon. I just cut myself a little slack and you know what? Everyone else that matters to me did so as well.

Allowing myself to have an off night is a big step. Usually, I am all in or all out. When cracks start showing up in the layers of self-control the dam spills open.

The trick is allowing myself a bad day. Just the one day…..

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