Lost

RelaxDamit! Trust yourself, they do…

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For the better part of 25 years my career had been in Computer Hardware/Software Sales and in my humble opinion I was dam good at it. The problem was I was great at it during a Manic phase and less so on a downward spiral. Turned out the highs and lows of sales were triggers. During a pure manic episode I called my manager a whore because she would sell herself and the company reputation for the right price. The next day I could not understand why I was being let go. To this day I think I was right I just shouldn’t have said anything.

This is all before I was diagnosed as Bipolar. I So at the recommendation of my family, Dr’s, and Therapists I quit the sales racket for a more stable pace. During this timespan I have worked on and off for the same boss, (not the whore). He starts up a company spins it off and moves on. Sometimes I moved with him sometimes I didn’t. I am back working with him again for a tech start up but this time in technical support.

I am in a different end of the pool now and while I am keeping afloat I am often lost. I have to work 10X as hard just to keep pace. This week 2 senior people are out and I taking in information from a firehose. My boss is my friend and he would not put me in this position if he didn’t think I could handle it and he is right I am handing it. So while I am Lost I am not trying to do everything on my own. I have to stop and ask questions, go to manuals, and do what it takes to get the job done. It’s amazing how someone else could have more faith in you than you have in yourself.

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