Relax Damit! Beware of the Bipolar Bear!
At the suggestion of my therapist my wife and I schedule regular relationship check ups. These are extremely important because I’m rarely self-aware when my Bipolar Bear is making an appearance. Why schedule a conversation? Scheduling a time takes some of the emotional sting out of the equation. I can hear that she has issues & concerns rather than I am once again being attacked for not being normal. We also try to limit the amount of time for the discussion so that we don’t beat issues to death.
Last night my wife brought up the fact that I have been out of my routine and when I get out of my routine the Bipolar Bear begins to roar. We have long moved out of the cycle of promises and failures. I take her input seriously and attempt to make changes right away. Not just to pacify her but for my well-being and the well-being of my family. My actions have an effect on everyone around me. Equally important is that she knows I am trying and even if I fail I will pick up the pieces and try again.
On the flip side, for many years I felt shame in letting her down so I kept silent when things were bothering me. This would lead to resentment, withdrawal and passive aggressiveness. So when I have something that is bothering me I ask her when it will be a good time to talk.
So beware of the BiPolar Bear because the BiPolar Bear is rarely aware of itself.