RelaxDamit! This too shall pass…
For several months while our family was in crisis mode I did not blog. I did not have the time, energy or mental stamina to write. Just as I have started to pull out of that funk we are on the brink of slipping into a new crisis. My son, daughter and I are all Bipolar, I guess my wife had no idea she was taking a dip in the shallow end of the gene pool.
The focus of the last 5 months has been dealing with my daughter going into a residential mental health treatment program and follow up care. In the past few days my son has started to spin out of control. WTF! I just came up for air and now I’m slipping back under again? This is just not fair!
Last night, I gave myself about an hour to feel sorry for myself. All the emotions building up are valid and co-exist. I can worry about my son’s state of mind and feel sucker punched. I am angry, sad, scared and optimistic all at the same time and that is okay.
I did not know this going into the last crisis. Fear ruled over all emotions. Fear of what might trigger my daughter had us all living on the edge of our own mental breakdowns.
Today I will not live in fear. I will not be a prisoner in my own home. Time to use the tools learned while my daughter was in residential treatment. First, if I can’t take care of myself I’m no use to anyone else. Next is to remain in control. I may not be able to control my son but I can control my own actions.
So his morning, when he refused to go to school and told me to F*ck off, I did not argue or plead with him. e is a Junior in High School and I can’t make him do anything. Instead, the WiFi password was changed, his phone disabled and the power cord to the Playstation put into the safe. He may stay home but actions have consequences. This has happened before so I didn’t even get a reaction from him. Later today or tomorrow he will calm down or he won’t. Either way we have a plan and treatment team to turn to.
So yes I have a F*cked up Bipolar family. Every crisis is different and this too shall pass….