Most of us are familiar with software upgrades. A major upgrade might go from a Version 1 to a Version 2. In between are the small tweaks that are that refine an existing version. I am personally rolling out some personal tweaks. I know I have evolved over time but I have to start counting the changes someplace, so why not 1.1. I’m not ready for a Version 2.0. I’m not sure ever will be. Small changes over time may result in that outcome but I can’t control that today. What I can control is my day to day actions.
Version 1.1 was the willingness to make a change. I have worked both small and large companies who change is necessary but are not willing to go through with it. Change can be a slow painful process. It is way more comfortable to not rock the boat even if you are not getting the results that are needed.
Version 1.2 is where I am. I am going to set a goal and pick three specific things I want to focus on.
Goal: Improve communication with my wife.
- Schedule times to check in: Trying to get a point across during an argument is pointless. I am in the process of setting time where we can check in at least once a week. We have a timer set for 20 minutes so I don’t beat a conversation to death.
- Active listening: This is a hard one. I’m really good at passive hearing. Active listening requires that focus be placed on the other person without trying to defend myself or come up ideas on how to fix something. Those items can be addressed but not until other has finished.
- Take care of myself: I am no good to anyone unless i take care of myself.I can control my actions and show that I working on that goal. Going on a hike, getting a massage, seeing my Doctor or Therapist are all examples of ways to take care of myself.
In the big picture these three things may not seem like a lot. I have a long list of things that I need to work on. Unless I get the process started the picture will remain just a picture that only exists in my mind.