RelaxDamit!, nobody ever said life would be easy….
It’s been a long time since I have taken the time to sit down and share my thoughts. Three months ago I decided to return back to full time work. As any fellow Bi-Polar Bears know change can be crippling.
For 7 years I had been on disability and my status was not in question. For the most part, with the help of my med’s, my mental health was relatively stable. My “job” was to work on my mental health, and be there for the family.
In the past two years both of my teenage kids suffered sever mental episodes that required hospitalization. During that time change was a constant and daily life was dictated by crisis management. Once the fog cleared I realized that I was able to function despite the challenge of coping with change.
So when an old friend asked me to help get a start-up company off the ground I said yes. There was no gradual transition, one day I was living in my small controlled world the next I was thrust back into the workplace and a small startup company to boot. One minute I’m putting together a marketing campaign the next I’m dealing with operational procedures. I have had to both hire and fire people. To to top it off this venture isn’t even remotely close to anything in my professional background. Needless to say change is the new norm.
Returning to work has been overwhelming and more than once I have almost walked away. For now I am hyper aware of my mental state. At a minimum I stop what I am doing to a mental assessment. When needed, I step away and go for a short walk or find a place to sit and clear my mind. A few times I just packed up and decided to finish out the day working from home because I needed a break from being around other people.
I just remind myself to RelaxDamit!